I have homosexual friends, and friends of all creeds and colors. I am white. Very. I would never say the N word in front of any of my African-American friends, even though they say it to each other. It isn't an insult when they say it to each other, but a tremendous one when a white person says it. I'd never say faggot or queer or any of those words in front of my homosexual friends unless we were all joking around, and I joke with my very close Mexican friends all the time...because we're close. I am still very careful. To be let in in that way is a privilege I don't take for granted.
Our culture--especially music, rap in particular--has cultivated the use of words that were once prohibitive, and made them part of our everyday language. I have two children, one under 12 and one over 12, so I am dealing with two different sets of ideals. One child is already immersed in a life with more colorful language, and I'm trying to keep the younger one innocent a bit longer.
I don't know under what circumstances Dr. Laura said the N word. All I can say about her is she is an entertainer, basically. People call her of their own accord, and she says and does what she does. She isn't new to this; people should know her and know what she does and how she does it. At the end of the day, her saying the N word, or anything else that may be deemed insulting, is her stuff to live with, her karma. You take it from where it comes, and I have to say she is right: to have to constantly apologize because what she says may keep sponsors away, etc. is probably no longer worth it for her. She's probably doing the right thing.
I don't like the N word, and I don't care if you're black when you say it. It's a word from a terrible time in our history, and I wish it was treated as such by everyone. My advice: be careful out there.