I am by far not a professional when it comes to raising children, but I am a mother of 4 wonderful, unique and wildly-different-from-the-next children. I made the mistake of expecting my first born son (A) to follow the book of what he should accomplish and the time frame of successful growth and development. It took the birth of our daughter (S) to help me put into perspective what "normal" accomplishments really meant, that no matter how much you will your child to do something they are not going to do it until they are ready, PERIOD. Whether it be developmentally ready, cognitively ready or psychologically ready, pursuing these desired goals will only frustrate you and the child. It was this early lesson that I learned that has guided me with each of my children. This is how I base my goals for each of my children, the goals for each child are obtainable and reasonable based strictly on the child and not based what a sibling might be capable of, or was capable of at the same age. I push my children to be their personal best in all of their pursuits whether it is school, or an activity I want my children to strive for their personal best and revel in their successes, knowing that they gave their best effort.
I have different goals for each of my children and I am their biggest cheerleader as they work towards and reach their goals. It may be simplistic but this formula has worked for our family. My oldest at 13 is reading at a college level and is able to complete 10th grade level Mathematics, he thinks outside of the box and can persuade you to his side in just about any argument. My daughter 12 is an honor student, cheerleader and consistently places in the top 5 at National level dance competitions, I let her take the lead in her pursuits, I only provide encouragement, support and make her goals financially obtainable. My 3rd child (9) and has Aspergers, he is a dynamo in the classroom, but needs help in socialization, so our goals for him are more focused in this area, but no the less they are set to what he is capable of reaching with hard work. I have one more son (4) and I could go on and on, but I think that I have made my point, which is that it is important to push your child to an extent, but make sure that the goals that you are pushing to achieve are reachable for that child.